defining, directing, and the drive

One week left and all I have are questions running laps in my mind. How is this journey going to end? What has been the purpose of me being here? What comes next? These are not only questions I have been asking myself but others have begun to ask me as well. Where do I even begin?...

     When most people go on mission trips, usually for the first time. They come back and when people ask how it was they simply respond by saying, “It was life changing!” When I went on my first overseas mission trip to Ecuador in 2009 a friend of mine said that she did not like when people (aka Christians) used this phrase. As a Christian whose life has already been changed by Christ Jesus experiences, such as mission trips, solely define who we are and what we are called to. God has given us a commission and a command and when we go to Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth these experiences define who we are as Christians. It is through the fulfillment of this command that we discover God’s true plan for our life and He shows us our real hearts desire.

     I am not even sure I really know what people mean when they say, “life changing”. Eating guinea pig changed my perspective on the little rats at Pet Smart. Combis have changed my view on public transportation. Living with twelve animals in my backyard has changed my view on pets. Eating rice and potatoes everyday has changed by opinion of starches. Internet cafes have changed my view on technology. All of these things are silly, but true. I do not think that my life has been changed by this journey to Peru, thus far, however, I am confident in something else. I am confident that the Lord has used this journey to Peru to define my life. He has drawn me closer to Him. He has reminded me of my calling. He has realigned my passions with his will. He has used my delight in Him to define for me the true desires of my heart.

     “So what is next?” Let me just start by saying, “How in the world am I supposed to know?” I started this journey many, many months ago when I filled out a rather long application, and prayed that the Lord’s will would be done. This journey continued when I got an email discovering that there probably was not a spot for me in the program in the fall. The journey became difficult when I found out there was a spot, and my mind had already gone to plan B. This journey became intimidating when I got on a plane and headed to Santiago, Chile, and eventually to Lima, Peru. This journey got scary when I got out of a truck on August 23^rd and saw where I would be living the next four months. The same journey has brought tears, laughter, struggles, meltdowns, questions, answers, and joy. So when I say I have no idea what is next I am not lying, solely to keep a secret. I literally mean I have no idea what is next. Just like I did not know what would happen after I submitted my application, or after I got placed in Peru, or just like I did not know what would happen when I landed in Santiago or Lima, and just like I did not know what would happen after that first day in Recuay, I do not know what is going to happen when I get home. I do know, however, that my God is in control and He is completely faithful and I am satisfied with that being all I know of His plan right now. I will run in the path of His commands because He has set my heart free and He directs my every step.

   One more week in Recuay. Four more days of teaching. One more bible study in Utcuyacu. Eight more lunches at Humberta’s. Three more showers in the mountains. Two more loads of laundry by hand. Ten more nights in my hard wood plank bed. One more movie night on our couch. Two more trips to Huaraz. I find the drive to keep going for one more week in the truth of His word that is more precious than gold and sweeter than honey from the comb. I move forward knowing that it is in Him that I live and move and have my being. Mostly, however, the drive comes from knowing that the Lord’s work in me is not over. He who began a good work in me has promised to carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. My journey does not end in Peru. My journey only defines, directs, and drives me to more journeys, more experiences, more sufferings, and more joy until the day of Christ Jesus.  

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12